There is Always a Way

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and so many others, are overflowing with awareness, quotes, condolences and social messages, past two days after actor Sushant Singh's demise. Sadly, this is not the first time someone decides to end their life. Also, this is not the first time social media is swarming with posts feeling bad for a person who committed suicide asking why didn't they reach out to any of them and why did they have to end their life. Their concerns are very appreciative but if the same concern was shown a few months back when he first started to feel depressed, if a shoulder was lent, for him to lean on when he could no longer stand strong, if someone offered to just be there and listen to him every time he wanted to talk, may be..... may be he would have survived this phase.

Each one of us travel through very different journeys. Some are very "lucky" with friends, family, career, health and most others have to really work for everything they get but they sure get it at the end of the day and there are a few others, who have to work hard and face a lot of setbacks before they can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even that light would be so faint that most of the time they will have to just manage to reach the end with faith guiding them through. Some, like Sushant, never see that light. The third category of people can make it to the end if the other two, atleast, try to shed some of their light over or voice out from inside one of their tunnels that they are not alone and there is nothing to be scared of, in this journey. Tell them that, it is just a harmless, yet highly personalized, travel and all you have to do is just experience it and keep moving forward. We need to understand that all minds aren't alike just like how we all "look" different we all "feel" different too. World would be a happy place if we understand our differences and know that our only responsibility is to not hurt others but love them for what they are. If possible, be supportive, encourage, always spread positivity and never compare your successful, beautifully tailored life with theirs. If you think you are are not capable of extending your warmth then just be in your own bubble and let others be them. Your judgements, opinions, advises, comments, jokes are really not needed. They speak a lot about you than the person it is targeted to. Instead, a smile, an occasional enquiry about how they do, encouraging words, a hug, a pat, a reassuring nod will help someone muster the courage to step ahead.

We have come a long way as humans. Today, we think we have a purpose, we have goals, we win, we lose, we say, do, think and feel a lot of things. For what its worth, these things don't matter at all. Purpose, goals, race, competition - They were formed by us, to give ourselves somewhere to go, something to work for, something to keep ourselves occupied with. If life doesn't unfold according to the outline we had drawn, we need to understand that it is okay, we can erase what we drew and draw it again,  but now, that which fits the life that is unraveling itself. No one can judge because there is no one else in our tunnel. It is just me in mine just like how you are alone in yours. Just because someone overheard your lament when you hit yourself against the wall when you took the wrong turn in the tunnel, if they think they can make a judgement, let them. Their so-called opinion is not based on the actual facts. Those are empty noises. 

I read an article recently that spoke about how parenting can make a difference. It said children have to be educated about failures more than successes. It is important that they are taught that it is okay to fail, it is okay to be poor, it is okay to not get what you want and especially, it is okay to stand alone at some point in life. Personally, I learnt it the hard way that we cannot expect someone to be there at all times to encourage and give us strength. Sometimes, it will be just us, in that dark, gloomy, scary part of the tunnel. At worst times, you might even have diverging paths to choose from and no one will be there to tell you which one is the safest. There are no rules for your life. If you think there are, they are always flexible. Bend it to your needs and don't expect someone to do it for you. Take the path you think is right, if it turns out to be wrong come back and take the other. If you think you don't have the time to retrace, it is still okay. Live it. In a train journey, sometimes you get to sit next to the window and sometimes all you get is hardly a seat and sometimes, you just have to travel standing the whole time. It is a phase and eventually you will get down and reach a place of comfort. Such phases are not permanent and will end, eventually. The path you took might be wrong but it will definitely end and lead you to another which will be better. This belief is what we must hold on to.

Suicide is never an option. If you think you are alone in this world going through a tough phase, just hold on to the faith that this is not permanent and this too shall pass. If someone asks you to console yourself that there are people suffering more than you do, punch them in their face. Just like how pain tolerance varies between people, what one feels during a tough phase is completely personal. No suffering is more or less profound than another. It is all personally defined and can not be compared. Stay put. Stay positive. There is always someone out there waiting to spread their wings and hold you close to heart just to tell you - "Hold on, sweetheart. We are almost there and if you need anything, I am always there for you. It is a promise."