Rambling on a sunday afternoon!

So hello to my page that has no audience and has no purpose but is joyful (to me) nonetheless. It has been months or probably years since I sat down to write anything. I have been busy moving around places, settling down in a new phase of life which is both exciting and scary. But that is not the only reason why I haven't tried writing (not that I am any great at it but it always brought me joy). I have been battling with a lot of questions in my head that I ended up spending way too much time in my head than trying to live a life outside of that. So, I just decided to sit down and type whatever comes to my mind so that I can call this a restart for this run down blog of mine which is a reflection of all the questions in my head that usually just went unanswered. 

Today is Sunday, I was invited for lunch at a friend's place but I bailed on that so I can work on a report that is due soon. However, we all know what would have happened. I wrote a few sentences, watched a ton of reels, read a few pages, walked around the studio I live in and finally took a nap. I don't feel guilty because it feels like a perfect Sunday afternoon. This is my new found independence, a new life I have built from scratch and I enjoy every second of it. I have my moments every now and then, more frequently than I would like but slowly I am learning to live with it. I am trying to understand who I am, why I am the way I am so I can accept myself more than I have done in all these years. Probably the inner self needs that assurance every now and then, to be accepted by yourself, to live in peace and harmony in a world that is anything but peaceful. Nothing much has changed, shitty people continue to be shitty, but I am learning to maneuver through all that to a cleaner, calmer, more serene, more welcoming bubble of bliss that I create for myself every morning until the end of day. Then, I repeat the whole thing again. Sometimes, the bubble is never the same calm clean serene place for me and it gets all too stormy like a cyclone just hit but it is what it is. That day isn't just my day and I build a new one next day with the hope that it will be what I intend it to be. Today was just another day that had a need different than being the most productive and no, I am not guilty of that. Tomorrow will be an even better day :)